Group chats should have a 3-message-per-hour limit enforced by law.

Tabs are objectively superior to spaces and this is a hill I will expire on.

Most 'spicy' food is just mildly inconvenient and people lie about loving it.

Pineapple belongs on pizza and the haters are simply scared of joy.

Sports are just reality TV for people who refuse to admit they like reality TV.

Cereal is a soup. I will not be taking questions.

Open-world games are 80% walking simulator with extra steps.