Houseplants are just pets that die quietly.
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Birthdays stop being fun after 25 and everyone is just pretending.
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New Year's resolutions are pointless and everybody knows it by January 9th.
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Six good hours of sleep is plenty. The eight-hour rule is for people with nothing going on.
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Nobody actually enjoys camping. They enjoy talking about camping afterwards.
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Making your bed every morning is a waste of time that nobody ever notices.
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